Rikidozan, being a fellow video employee, I'm sure you in particular will get a kick out of this one.
Last night, three girls (roughly 18 years old) were checking out our Blockbuster Favorites section when one of them came up to me and asked, “Do you have any softcore porn here?” The question took me by surprise a little bit, but I replied that we had a lot of softcore stuff in our drama section. Which, indeed, we do. (I even recommended a video that I kinda liked.)
Later, the same girl came up to me and asked, in the same context, one of the strangest questions I've ever heard: “Have you got any instructional videos?” (meaning, of course, a how-to-guide to having sex). That question would have made me crack up immediately were I not fully in “work” mode. I replied that we didn't, but they'd probably be able to find plenty of... um... books on the subject across the street at the Half Price Bookstore. I also suggested that they read some books about massage.
I mean, the only question they could've asked to make it even weirder would have been, “Can we practice on you?” Well, that certainly wouldn't be an offer that many guys get every day. And to tell you the truth, I'm not sure I would've said no right away. But anyway... didn't happen. LOL...
“I do not mean to pry, but you wouldn't by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand?” “Do you always begin conversations this way?” --Inigo Montoya and Westley, The Princess Bride
Two-Time, Two-Time Randomly Selected Wiener of the Day, 5/27/02 and 7/3/02
Certified RFMC Member-- Ask To See My Credentials!
18 year old female and female friend get a new membership.
the one getting the membership asks:
"Can you name all the midget porn you carry?"
the head manager and i could only come up with Bridget the midget...she was dissapointed that we only carry 1 midget porno...but she took it anyway.
You die...--More-- You made the Top Ten List! No Points 1 43372 Kaka-Bar-Orc-Mal-Cha died in The Dungeons of Doom on level 7 [Max 13], Killed by a troll, while helpless.
How can you NOT have the CLASSIC Somewhere Under The Rainbow, starring the Hermi/midget PANTHER, who looks suspiciously like Alfalfa from The Little Rascals on the box cover.
NO, I never watched it, but when I was working at the porn store, I saw 6 different people rent it.
(wc-49)
(edited by Cerebus on 19.2.03 0114) "(GASP!) Biro's hit... I'm going in after him"
Speaking of Blockbuster, I went there to return a overdue Metroid Prime. I ask the guy what the overdue price was and he said "None, you got it in with 10 seconds left." That was the proudest moment of my day.
Hal: So, Dewey, I'm thinking our little Lego community needs a school. Dewey: Don't need it. Everyone's born smart. Hal: Aww, that's beautiful, son. It's a utopia. Dewey: And anyone stupid will be ground up for food. Hal: Oh. A cannibal utopia. Interesting.
Speaking of strange questions, I'm with a buddy at Wal-Mart on Saturday and this lady comes up with this hideous purple bear and asks us, "If you two were my boyfriend, what would you say if I gave you this for Valentine's Day?"
My friend, without missing a beat, says, "Well, I'd say 'Valentine's Day was yesterday.'"
When I worked part time at a video store, a guy came up to me and asked "Are any of your erotic thrillers either erotic or thrilling?" I told him it depended on his mood. He took one after searching every title.
Guy without a card comes in. He wants to rent on a girlfriends account, but he's not a listed member and she's not home to call and ask. I tell him he can get his own membership, but he'll need two forms of ID. He has nothing. He still thinks I should rent to him though because he says, "Hey buddy, I drive a Jaguar." My response, "Then you should probably have a Driver's Lisence and a Credit Card."
A close second moment was when a customer complained because I couldn't help her while I was signing up a new member. She got a little pissy, and the little kind looking old woman filling out the membership app told her to, "Shut the fuck up and go to hell."
Astrobstrd, isn't that from a Night Gallery episode? If so, did you get it off a site somewhere with others? I've been looking for some of those to use for my desktop.
(wc-32)
(edited by Cerebus on 19.2.03 0113) Cerebus: Barbarian, Prime Minister, Pope, Perfect House Guest.
"Graft is as necessary as throwing up when you drink too much."
Funniest line I ever got was (second-hand) when a friend of mine was stocking videos. This guy came up to him and said, "Excuse me, but are you Korean?"
My friend (who's from Laos) told him no.
The guy said, "Oh, I just wondered, because you were moving around really fast, like a Korean."
"My brother saw the Undertaker walking through an airport." - Rex "Was he no-selling?" - Me
"...release the dogs, or the bees, or the dogs with bees in their mouths, and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?" -- Homer Simpson
Originally posted by CerebusAstrobstrd, isn't that from a Night Gallery episode? If so, did you get it off a site somewhere with others? I've been looking for some of those to use for my desktop.
My avatar is from the (new) Call of Cthulu RPG. You can find art for it at www.wizards.com. Go under "games" and look up CoC. There is a gallery on the page somewhere and full sized desktops and screensavers. I'm a fan of this one and The King in Yellow is one my desktop (HasturHasturHastur, big props to anyone who is nerdy enough to know why saying that is bad news.)
I know...I couldn't find it *anywhere*, not in the Bay Area, not in Sacramento. No major video store chain or store I could think of carries that title.