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The W - Random - Joe Millionaire... can't believe I'm posting this
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asteroidboy
Andouille








Since: 22.1.02
From: Texas

Since last post: 4873 days
Last activity: 439 days
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.95

Anyone else watching this awful, awful show? Thanks to my girlfriend, I am!

To recap, we're down to the last two, Sarah and Zora. Sarah's clearly in it for the money and the chance to rise above her station in life (as a bondage flick queen... come to think of it, if they mentinoed that on the show, it would make the show far more interesting). Zora's played the level-headed, earthy brunette, who appears to want something more than Evan's supposed $50 million.

Their styles of play have also been starkly different. While Zora has kept a respectful distance from Evan, letting her guard down only briefly to mug down with Evan in the swimming pool, Sarah has slept with him at every opportunity. Does our hero go with the available sex from a top-shelf honey who will ditch him before he can utter the words, "I really make $19,000 a year?" Or will Evan go for the chance of something possibly more substantial with the girl-next-door type? So far, Evan has chosen sex. And he's bedded as many constants as possible, much like a prized bull during fucking season at the ol' Fox ranch.

I'm thinking that he picks Zora, for pragmatic purposes. He'd probably rather have Sarah, but way will she stick with a poor construction worker - she knew how to order in French at the classy Riviera restaurant, for chrissakes! And lord knows what she could do with a sheepshank knot.

He'll go with Zora, and they'll last for a few weeks, because it's a game show, and once people finish a game show, they end up selling off their fabulous prizes to pay the taxes, anyway. Zora's a nice girl (and not a nice girl in the way my friend described when he said, "Nice girls put it in for you.") No, she's a salt-of-the-earth substitute teacher who's named after that fish creature in the Legend of Zelda that can really fuck you up if you're not blocking with shield. Zora's looking for love in the wrong fucking place.

But what about the promised "twist" at the end of the show? What will that entail? They teased a possible return of some of the old contestants, will we get a 30 gold-digger over-the-top battle royale? Please God, make it so.


(edited by asteroidboy on 11.2.03 1041)


"My brother saw the Undertaker walking through an airport." - Rex
"Was he no-selling?" - Me


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OlFuzzyBastard
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Since: 28.4.02
From: Pittsburgh, PA

Since last post: 1819 days
Last activity: 995 days
#2 Posted on
I haven't watched the show, but I'd be willing to bet that the twist is that they've been fucking with the viewers, not the girls, and that, in a Russo-esque twist, Joe really is a Millionaire, thereby completely negating the entire purpose of the show.

Sound stupid? It's Fox!



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Since: 2.1.02
From: Calgary, Alberta, Canada

Since last post: 862 days
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#3 Posted on
I'm going to guess that the twist involves something that will even be a surprise to Evan, and maybe something that allows any of the 20 girls to have one more shot...but beyond that, I don't know what it could be.

They certainly did set the final episode up well, though.
pieman
As young as
he feels








Since: 11.12.01
From: China, Maine

Since last post: 121 days
Last activity: 7 days
ICQ:  
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.21


Yup, we've been watching this one, too.

I am partial to the one that Kim and Lise came up with - that Paul the Butler is really the millionaire. They would crack me up! He's the best part of the show anyway.



He's Rolie Polie Olie - and in his world of curves and curls, he's the swellest kid around.
DarkRenegade
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Since: 19.5.02
From: YOUR MOTHER!

Since last post: 6196 days
Last activity: 3956 days
#5 Posted on
Renegade,Mistress of Darkness says:


Yeah, I've been watching the show too (my mom dragged me into it). I've been rooting for Zora the whole time, but I think Evan will pick Sara. As for the twist, I'm guessing that he really will be a millionaire.



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Since: 17.1.02
From: South F’n Carolina

Since last post: 45 days
Last activity: 3 days
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.44
How about the twist being that Zora is the one with the millions of dollars. Sure, the producers would have to figure out a way that Zora stayed in the game (whoever gives Evan advice can be a mole for Zora), but she might be the one turning the tables on this cro-magnon idiot.



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Net Hack Slasher
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Since: 6.1.02
From: Outer reaches of your mind

Since last post: 7033 days
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#7 Posted on
I don't think he's a millionaire now. He was an indy wrestler for goodness sake. And every time I tune I see this guy bitchin and whining about "I really like these girls, and it's eating me inside that I'm lying to them". When he does that EVERY SHOW, I feel like slapping him. The only way he's a millionaire is if Fox gives him a million dollars afterwards.

But I have to admit this is one reality show that actually grabbed my interest. I sure hope it's not a big swerve at the end.

And Paul the Butler does rule.



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dunkndollaz
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Since: 3.1.02
From: Northern NJ

Since last post: 1649 days
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#8 Posted on
The wife and I haven't missed a single minute so far - picking Sarah definitely makes for better television when she predictably explodes.

I think maybe the swerve is that the whole show has been scripted from the beginning - it really plays about step up from the backstage vignettes we get subjected to every week on WWE TV

side note - Zora is the 1991 Boulder High Homecoming Queen and her mother is a local psychic.....



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spf
Scrapple








Since: 2.1.02
From: The Las Vegas of Canada

Since last post: 3069 days
Last activity: 404 days
#9 Posted on
I have the awful sense that at the end of the show they'll reveal the line, and then if the woman still says she wants to marry him that Fox will drop $1 million in their lap. What would be cool though is if they gave the woman at the end a choice between Evan or $1 million or some large cash sum ;)



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Immortality
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Kishke








Since: 2.1.02
From: West Palm Beach, FL

Since last post: 3526 days
Last activity: 685 days
#10 Posted on
Someone called in Howard Stern this morning(I know, real reliable source) and said that Zora was loaded. Someone he knew, knew her(another reliable source).
brick
Bockwurst








Since: 17.1.02
From: Pittsburgh, PA

Since last post: 3983 days
Last activity: 3979 days
#11 Posted on
Is it just me or have they drawn out this whole thing much too long. This show should have taken 3-4 weeks max, did anything even happen last night? And now a 2-hour show next week. I might watch the last 15 minutes if I remember that its on.



I'm not going to fall for the Banana in the tailpipe.
asteroidboy
Andouille








Since: 22.1.02
From: Texas

Since last post: 4873 days
Last activity: 439 days
#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.95
Didn't Zora say on the show that she was "raised poor" and that all the trappings made her uncomfortable?

I think Paul the butler hates Sara, which is why he mentioned that she's always late, and they included that little awkward scene when he tells her that Evan's taking her for a walk in the woods.

I heard somewhere that Evan's really a male model and he's loaded. So, could the twist be that while he isn't a $50 million heir, he's not a ham-and-egger, either?



"My brother saw the Undertaker walking through an airport." - Rex
"Was he no-selling?" - Me


"...release the dogs, or the bees, or the dogs with bees in their mouths, and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?"
-- Homer Simpson
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Since: 9.12.01
From: Bay City, OR

Since last post: 8 days
Last activity: 19 hours
ICQ:  
#13 Posted on
I just want to remind everyone of my bold prediction
http://wienerboard.com/thread.php/id=8799

Remember, you heard it here first.



Your analogy is similar to:

"They already have cars that you can drive, why not blenders?"
"I can already write with my hands, why not my pancreas?"
"They already have beef that I can eat, why not granite?"

-- my new favorite quote from Slashdot comments.

pieman
As young as
he feels








Since: 11.12.01
From: China, Maine

Since last post: 121 days
Last activity: 7 days
ICQ:  
#14 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.21


Hey, back in my post up there I was giving Kim and Lise credit for this, not the Guru! I thought you were just repeating what the smart ones were saying!


So, dunk, if she is the Boulder Homecoming Queen, what's her last name? Shouldn't that be enough to figure out if she is the one with all the money?

(edited by pieman on 11.2.03 1606)


He's Rolie Polie Olie - and in his world of curves and curls, he's the swellest kid around.
dunkndollaz
Banger








Since: 3.1.02
From: Northern NJ

Since last post: 1649 days
Last activity: 1105 days
#15 Posted on

    Originally posted by pieman
    Hey, back in my post up there I was giving Kim and Lise credit for this, not the Guru! I thought you were just repeating what the smart ones were saying!


    So, dunk, if she is the Boulder Homecoming Queen, what's her last name? Shouldn't that be enough to figure out if she is the one with all the money?

    (edited by pieman on 11.2.03 1606)



Her real name is Zora Andrich and a google search will give you the Denver Post articles



5 Time 5 Time 5 Time 5 Time 5 Time Wiener of the Day Runner-up
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Since: 9.12.01
From: Bay City, OR

Since last post: 8 days
Last activity: 19 hours
ICQ:  
#16 Posted on

    Originally posted by pieman
    Hey, back in my post up there I was giving Kim and Lise credit for this, not the Guru! I thought you were just repeating what the smart ones were saying!


    So, dunk, if she is the Boulder Homecoming Queen, what's her last name? Shouldn't that be enough to figure out if she is the one with all the money?

    (edited by pieman on 11.2.03 1606)



See, I just skip the yellow text posts...

No, really, I need to learn to read.



Your analogy is similar to:

"They already have cars that you can drive, why not blenders?"
"I can already write with my hands, why not my pancreas?"
"They already have beef that I can eat, why not granite?"

-- my new favorite quote from Slashdot comments.

Bullitt
Shot in the dark








Since: 11.1.02
From: Houston

Since last post: 2766 days
Last activity: 2766 days
#17 Posted on
You couldn't pay me enough to watch this crap.

However, the Survivor 90-minute debut on Thursday is another story!



Matthew Good - Playing Calgary March 24th AND 25th. Be there.

Gordie.ca
SKLOKAZOID
Bierwurst








Since: 20.3.02
From: California

Since last post: 1692 days
Last activity: 822 days
#18 Posted on
    Originally posted by spf2119
    I have the awful sense that at the end of the show they'll reveal the line, and then if the woman still says she wants to marry him that Fox will drop $1 million in their lap. What would be cool though is if they gave the woman at the end a choice between Evan or $1 million or some large cash sum ;)


I think this is what we'll be looking at, it's probably the best pay off and is really what the heart of the show is all about-- aside from giving a guy a mansion and 20 girls to have sex with.

Evan will tell Sara (my pick) the truth and then they'll give her the choice: does she stay with Evan even though he isn't a millionaire and decieved her or does she gouge his eyes out and kick him in the crotch?

This way, it puts the ball in Sara's court and the audience will truly see if she fell in love with Evan or the Millionaire thing.

THEN... After she makes her choice, the butler will tell her that, had she chosen Evan, she would have been given $1 million for choosing love over material wealth. However, if she chooses not to go with Evan, she gets a mere $50,000.

If she chooses love, she gets ultimately rewarded. If she doesn't, she gets enough to settle back into her life as a successful foot fetish star.

EDIT: Misread orginal post.

(edited by SKLOKAZOID on 11.2.03 1436)
Bizzle Izzle
Bockwurst








Since: 26.6.02
From: New Jersey, USA

Since last post: 2928 days
Last activity: 2928 days
#19 Posted on
I don't know about those theories about Paul Hogan being the Millionaire. He's an actual Butler and apparently up to no good as the Washington Post recently pointed out. Click Here

I also doubt that Evan's a millionaire too. The various news reports I saw said he really was working on construction, but met someone about the TV show while he was in the L.A. area looking for work as a model.

I'm only slightly embarassed for knowing more than I should about this show.



"My own personal feeling is that the Confederate flag no longer has a place flying any time, anywhere in our great nation." - Dick Gephardt, a man who apparently hates history AND the 1st Amendment

Maiden RULES!!!
J. Kyle
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Since: 21.2.02
From: The Land of Aloha

Since last post: 1561 days
Last activity: 1341 days
#20 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.56
Jkyle.com says:


    Originally posted by Bullitt
    the Survivor 90-minute debut on Thursday is another story!
Kami help your immortal soul for watching the show that killed the Tick.



JKyle.com - Now with El Nastio!
110402Chicks.
"I've sat up here and lied to America before Conan... Rollerball sucked." LL Cool J
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I don't remember if I ranted about it here or someplace else. But I thought it was vastly overrated. Crowe does the usual "mentally disturbed" overacting (TM Dustin Hoffman) and the "gimmick" was stupid and annoying as all hell.
- odessasteps, Great movie in theaters... (2002)
Related threads: Fox goes BANZAI~! - MAN! BEAST! The War To Settle the Score - Joe Millionaire - More...
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